Written by Lady Monique Jordan, Tacoma, Washington (Dual State West)
The Part 3 of a 4-part series on: “How to Incorporate GOD in our marriage to increase PEACE, LOVE, JOY AND PLEASURE.”(NOTE: PLEASE READ PROFICIENCIES 1-8 BEFORE ENGAGING IN THIS LESSON SERIES)
Please study the following scriptures about Joy: 1st Thessalonians 5: 16-18, Galatians 5:22, 23 Ephesians 4:32 Hebrews 13:15
LETS LOOK SCRIPTURALLY AT JOY AS IT PERTAINS TO OUR MARRIAGES:
SEEK JOY: Remember, this takes time! AND, it is time well spent.
We Develop Spiritually with our Spouse by Learning:
- How to study God’s word INDIVIDUALLY AND together
- How to praise and worship God INDIVIDUALLY AND together
- How to pray with and for each INDIVIDUALLY AND WITH each other.
- How to express the Joy of the Lord by ourselves and with our spouse.
(While it is good to delve into this work together, it certainly works individually.)
Here is some Joy put to music!
“Give Me,” Kirk Franklin -
Personal Reflections:
- What scriptures teach about JOY?
- How can we develop more JOY in our marriage?
INSIGHT From Momo:
Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit: Galatians 5:22
Joy eludes us when we operate out of our carnality. Sometimes we need to stop and ask ourselves, “Am I spiritual right now?
1. Am I Spiritual? If I Am, Then I WON’T:
- Hit below the belt:
Everyone has vulnerable areas. Don’t use your knowledge of your partner’s weaknesses, and sensitivities, to hurt him/her.
2. Have unreasonable expectations of my spouse:
- Believe it or not, our spouse is not God and we cannot depend on them for emotional health, and well-being. That is God’s job.
- We set our spouses up for failure and “dog house living” when we expect them to be the source of our joy!
· So give grace during grumpy moments.
- Stir up your own joy!
- Give the gift of space and time to your mate.
- No punishments for being human, people!
3. Retaliate out of meanness:
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 KJV
4. Stop praying for my mate:
Remember, since we are one: If I hurt, bully, neglect, reject, my mate I am doing this to myself.
“Hold Me,” by Fred Hammond
Joy Medicine!
Scriptural healing for the unspiritual! Read it meditate on it claim it
Ephesians 3:14-20 KJV
14. For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15. Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
16. That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
17. That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
18. May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19. And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.
Am I Spiritual? If I am, then I WILL:
“Great” by Fred Hammond
1. Banish Blame: To accomplish this I will accept responsibility for my emotional state: The late Elder Samuel Beachem once said, “If you are blaming everything and everyone else for all of your problems, then you will never fix anything in your life.” Blaming is another form of running from the issue. Someone once said, “We will never defeat a problem we run from.”
2. Deal with my unresolved Anger: Unresolved anger is one of the major killers of marriage relationships. Blaming is a way to keep unresolved anger going. Dealing with the emotions underneath our anger (what am we feeling that makes us angry) will help improve our relationship with our spouse.
3. Learn the art of “Sacrificial Praise” Hebrews 13:15 KJV When we learn this, the battle is over. (Contrary to popular belief, sacrificial praise is not hypocritical, it is scriptural.)
True Story About MOMO!
Early in my married life, I habitually complained to the Lord about my living conditions. I was in an “older home” we did not have enough closet/cabinet space, my husband was not bringing in enough income, etc. and so on and so forth. On one particularly challenging day, I asked the Lord, “Lord, when are you going to deliver me from this drafty old house, and bless our family with more income, so that we can move out. (After all we are working for you all the way out here in the Pacific Northwest!)” God said, (clearly and with finality), “When you learn how to appreciate what I have already blessed you with.” From that momentous interaction with my Lord, I gathered my negative emotions; piled them in an emotional heap; and spiritually burned them up, in a sacrificial praise to God. I praised, and I praised and I praised!
Important Note about learning and growing: God did not move me out of my situation right away. But in the process of time and with God’s help, I learned the value of sacrificial praise. It became the key to my emotional health. Sacrificial Praise unlocked the door that held the well of living waters, which contained the Joy of the Lord, which is my strength. Saints do not underestimate this spiritual act. Sacrificial praise released my joy, and restored my faith, hope, and trust in God. If God can do that for me God can certainly do it for you.
“Wait On You,” Janice Gaines
Finally, to experience more JOY, we must change our mental diet!
Below are a few suggestions to stir up the JOY fruit in our hearts! Instead of our normal negative responses to challenges in our lives, we can choose to:
“Lay Your Troubles Down,” by Fred Hammond
- Let God Parent us. God is always fair; God always has our best interest at heart, God knows just how to comfort us.
- Access our sense of humor. (Often times many of the things that happen to us are actually funny. Laugh! Stop taking ourselves so seriously!)
- Find and talk to our Spiritual Mentor (One who loves the Lord and is willing to share honestly.) If we think of life as a dense jungle, our mentor has blazed trails we are trying to navigate/traverse. They can give us suggestions about how to go in and come out of those tedious situations. They can also warn us of pitfalls that could exist.
- Listen to good music. (a good song is like meditation put to music!)
- Watch something funny on TV. (Laughter is contagious)
- Write and read our favorite encouraging scriptures in our journal. Refer to them in low moments.
- Write down the emotions beneath our anger in our journal. Give them to God and wait for his response/direction/comfort.
- Cry all night! The bible says weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! (Our joy is buried under all of our negative emotions. When we let out all of the pain deep down inside of us, then we release the joy buried underneath!
Last Song for the Road!
“When it Gets Down to it,” by Fred Hammond
Coming Soon: Part 4 PLEASURE!