BlogsByFaith Speaks

 But he "says" he's a Christian

Written by Danielle D. Wallace, Alabama - April 4, 2015


I've heard it quite a few times from other girls, "But he said, he's a Christian." And I immediately want them to stop and think about the definition of not only a Christian man but a Christian in general. Because, let’s be real, there are many that don't understand the definition of being a true Christian. To some of us, it’s sitting in the pews every Sunday morning or to others, it may be dusting off your bibles every now in then when you're in trouble or when you're blessed with something amazing in your life.

My point is, it is not consistent.

So before we go any further, this isn't all about recognizing a wolf in sheep's clothing when it comes to a guy that approaches you. It’s also about "you" ladies. Are you also examining yourselves? Are you what you say you desire?

A man that says he's a Christian but doesn't embody the following below is only whispering what you want to hear. Trust me; I had to learn that the hard way.

Topping the list, he must be a man of prayer. Someone that is led by the spirit and not the flesh. Yes, I know anyone can say "I pray" but does he truly surrender all to God in all areas of his life?

And speaking of being led by the flesh, he must be a man who shows you respect, to protect your sexual purity. Ladies, there is nothing loving about a man who is always lusting after your body or trying to take something that is so sacred and meant for marriage. If you've stated your celibacy is a part of life until marriage and he completely ignores it, he's not for you. I repeat; he's not for you. Along with protecting you in that aspect, a true Christian man would never raise his hand at you. He's a protector. He loves you as Christ loved the church. Sadly many don't know this love. If you're wondering what true love is...


He must be a man of leadership. A man led by God is a true leader of his life and eventually will become an incredible leader for his home. The only leading a "worldly man" does is leading you on to something that will never happen or leading you into temptation. For more regarding this, I encourage to read my previous article "Courting vs Dating: Why I Don't Believe in Dating" here.

He must also be a man of vision. He sees possibilities in his future. He has goals. He's ambitious. With him, anything is possible that pleases God.

Trustworthiness - A true man of God can be trusted. He's not a liar. He's not hiding anything from you. Which leads me to communication. If there are no open lines of communication when something goes wrong, that's another red flag. Yes, I know men and women are different but communication is key when building relationships. Just as your relationship with the Lord requires communication to grow and flourish, so does your earthly courtship.

I've always been taught from my parents to be equally yoked and yes just like many of you, I strayed off from the path. But what I've learned, is if I don't have a sense of peace about someone, then it’s not for me. If my spirit discerns something that isn't of God, It’s not for me. For more reading on true love God's way, I encourage you to read my article, “Love is here.”

And remember ladies, if you desire an "Ephesians: 5" man, you are to first examine yourselves.