Written by Lady Monique Jordan, Tacoma, Washington (Dual State West)
This is Part 2 of a 4-part series on how to incorporate GOD in your marriage to increase PEACE, LOVE, JOY AND PLEASURE.
(NOTE: PLEASE READ PROFICIENCIES 1-7 BEFORE ENGAGING IN Proficiency 8: in this LESSON SERIES)
Before reading this lesson listen to
Proficiency 8: PART 2: LOVE
The purpose of Proficiency 8: Part 2 in this lesson series is to:
- View our marriage through the lens of God’s grace and loving provision.
- View love as a decision/choice, which demands action.
- Understand that God is love, and that God created and redeemed us through love.
- To remember that God also sent his personal love gift back to us through his Son’s death and resurrection to help us succeed in marriage. We call this gift the Holy Spirit.
- Remind ourselves that we receive an endless supply of real love, grace, and support through the Holy Spirit of God: our Comforter.
- Recognize that we need The Comforter in our marriage because God’s Spirit encompasses the fruit essential to continue to prosper in our marriage relationship.
TRUTH: In any relationship setting extremely high expectation without providing sufficient support equals abandonment and neglect. That is not God’s way! God has given us the ultimate support for our marriage through the person of the Holy Spirit. In the Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 Paul the Apostle shares how love is manifested (What Love Does and How Love Behaves). Please read it carefully.
NOTES FROM MOMO!
FIRST: To maintain feelings of love, we must give ourselves and our spouses grace before truth! We need the Holy Spirit to help us accomplish this!
Why?
- Because when it gets down to it, if we’ve never been married before, then we are brand new to each challenging experience we encounter.
- Most of the negative behaviors that our spouses exhibit are due to a lack of skill or training, Not a lack of love.
- Since everyone comes to the union with baggage, then we both need abundant amounts of grace.
NEXT: We must untangle ourselves from the trap of constant accusations, due to our unreasonable expectations of perfection.
Why?
- All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.
- (No mate is perfect.)
- False expectations elicit anxiety, and generate intense negative emotions, (Which we often blame on our spouse)
- Most of the faults our spouse has are made manifest after we get married. (Get over it! - See Number 1 in both sections of notes from Momo)
When times get tough in your marriage, you have to encourage yourself! Sometimes your spouse cannot help you. For those times,
FINALLY- Recognize that love gives us courage to continue in our marriage:
- 1 John 4:18-20 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
- For LOVE/COURAGE IN ACTION as married couples lets try our best to:
- Pray loving prayers for each other during our morning cuddling (before we both get out of bed) and at during our nightly cuddling (before we go to sleep.)
- Be more than just polite. Find sincere ways to compliment our mate daily.
- Remember the “Thank You to Complaint Rule” = 8 thank-you(s) to 1 complaint.
- Remember the “Criticism to Compliment Rule” = 8 compliments to 1 criticism
- Remember that voice tones are very important so we must put our best voice tone forward whenever possible, especially when we use our spouses name.
- Try to have a date night once a week.
- PLAY
- Ask this question daily: “How can I make your day better my love?”
- Take care of ourselves spiritually, physically, educationally, and emotionally.
- Make our spouse our best friend.
Next: Part 3 of this series will be about JOY!